I don’t know why you don’t like me. There was a time when that might have bothered me in the extreme, but that time passed long before you entered the scene.

    I’m comfortable ignoring you as you ignore me. What makes me uncomfortable is the rest of your attitude. You are angry most of the time…and you have not, in spite of your advanced years, found a way to hide that anger. Encapsulated within your bubble of anger, you fail to see the effect that it has upon others. Do you honestly presume that you are hiding your feelings well? Guess again.

     There was a time that I would have attributed your behaviour to personal problems…that time ended today. For too long, I have defended you to others and corrected your errors while offering profuse apologies to those affected by your attitude. However, there is a limit to how many apologies that I can effectively offer on your behalf.

    Since you seem to make it a habit to blame me for your pitiful attitude, allow me to give you at least one tangible thing for which you can blame me. At the very least, it will be the one thing that I have actually done. It should provide stark contrast to all of those things that you blame me for doing even though everyone around you assures you that your fears are groundless.

    It is true, you know. Everybody has told you that I’ve defended you…that I’ve covered your errors and stuck up for you when others were offended by you. They didn’t lie to you.  You see, I thought that you deserved a chance. After all, everybody makes mistakes…everybody has bad days.

     Your chance ends today.

     Why on earth should I continue to defend a person who is so angry that she deliberately makes mistakes and has the audacity to hold me accountable for her bad attitude? I am not your problem, dear one…YOU are your problem. Okay, so the powers that be have made changes that are not to your liking….big deal! Contrary to your belief, I was not consulted in these matters, so get over it.

     Your ‘mistake’ today impacted someone who did not deserve to be the target of your ire. You didn’t even know this person, but you were willing to cause them undue worry and delay just to appease your own sense of disharmony. Shame on you! Those are not the actions of an adult. They are the actions of a toddler who has been denied a treat or sent to the corner for a minor infraction of the rules. Just as that toddler would, you have kicked out at the corner and put a mark on an innocent wall just because your feelings are hurt. One would think that, at your age, you would have outgrown temper tantrums. Apparently, this is not the case.

    Fear not, I made ammends for your behaviour. I will not allow a customer to suffer for your ill temper. But rest assured, while I might have fixed your ‘mistake’, I did not hide it. You will be held accountable by others at a much higher level than me. As for your rude behaviour, that will be reported as well….not by me, but by the very people to whom I have been proffering daily apologies on your behalf.

    It is not my goal to see you leave. Naive as it sounds, I still believe that you have the capacity to become very good at what you do. Part of me still wants to believe that your current attitude is only temporary and that you will soon calm down, overcome your persecution complex, and evolve into someone who could even be considered a friend. You are smart….I know you can do this.

    It would be nice to think that, one  day, you might realize that I am not the cause of all of your problems. Hard as it is, I’m trying to give you the space and leave you alone so that you can work your way through this. Rest assured that I will not initiate contact with you (quite frankly, I don’t like the thought of having my head bitten off for a simple ‘hello’); however, should you need or desire my help, you will have it with all due courtesy. In spite of your distaste when it comes to asking, I’m happy to help you in any way that you need. As others have told you, I’ve been doing this work for a while now and have access to an incredible wealth of information and contacts that can prove invaluable.

    So no, I won’t cover your ‘mistakes’ anymore….nor will I proffer apologies for your rude behaviour. What I WILL do is wait…and hope…and pray….

   Perhaps someday, you will overcome this.

arkmomy