Have you ever done something that you wish you could take back? 

    Dear Daughter,

     I could tell you not to cry…but it would do no good because not only do you need to cry sometimes, but you deserve the freedom to do so.

    I have watched you grow from a small baby into a strong woman. I have watched you struggle…watched you fly…and watched you fall sometimes. How often have I bitten back the urge to wrap you within my protection so that you could never be hurt? But you had to hurt sometimes in order to become the woman that you are today…in order to deal with all of the things that life will toss your way.

    I know that there are things within you that only you can resolve. There are fears and hurts that nobody else can fix except for you. I wish that it could be different, but that is how things are.

    He has asked me for a link to your personal space. I will not give it to him. It hurts me to think that you cried when you found out that he had requested the information. I came to you for your permission because I know how personal your artwork is to you. I know how much of yourself you pour into your work. I would never share that without your approval…not to him.

    From the time that you first discovered the joys of drawing, you sought his approval. Unable to see beyond your subject choices to the talent and time that you poured into your work, he was often distant and sometimes unkind in his critique. I watched as your reluctance to show him your work increased over time. There was nothing else that I could do…this had to be between you and him. I wish that he could see what I see in you…maybe one day, he will.

   You have such talent, darling. My pride in you and the things that you create is boundless. I have seen you work for hours on your art. You are sometimes patient with your creations….and sometimes very impatient with what you see as the slightest flaw in your quest for perfection. I would watch you work and see perfection even as you erased and re-drew in your quest to make your work match the inner vision that only you could see. Do you have any idea how much patience that takes? Can you even begin to imagine how it made me smile to see you evolve from the small child who was totally absorbed in the colors to the adult artist who put everything that she had into all of her creations?

    On some levels, I was almost jealous. Having no talent of my own, I wondered how on earth you had found this inside of yourself. I can’t draw a straight line…you not only draw them, but you put them together in the most amazing of ways.

    Many years ago, I had a talk with him. I wanted so much for him to see you for the wonderful person that you are. I know that he loves you, but sometimes love means different things to different people. I wanted to believe that he would come to see that just because you aren’t exactly the timid little girly-girl that he’d hoped you would become didn’t mean that you weren’t perfect just the way that you are. I wanted him to appreciate you for the individual that you are…but it would seem that he didn’t hear me very well. I still hope that one day he will…but that is something that only he can control.

    The bottom line is…you ARE perfect.

    The beautiful, talented, smart, and strong woman that you have become makes me proud to have you for a daughter. I treasure the fact that you allow me to see your art because I know how much of yourself you pour into each and every piece of it. It breaks my heart to know that you were shocked to tears at the thought of him having access to it. It breaks my heart that I’m the one that had to send the request that made you cry.

    So go ahead and cry, hon. You deserve it. You’ve struggled so long with that relationship and it has been a very hard road for you to walk. I only wish that I could pull you close and help you through these times…but I cannot. I wish that I could protect you….shelter you…make it so that you never had to cry…but that is impossible.

   As you make your decision…please know this….

   No matter what you do….

   Or where you go.

   No matter what decisions you make….

   I love you.

   And I think that you are perfect…just the way that you are.

                                                                       Love, Mom

arkmomy