Sometimes, my friends know me all to well.

    I have a dear friend in England with whom I’ve been exchanging packages for nearly a year. We’ve exchanged chocolates, cooking utensils, books….just about anything unique to our areas.

   The last package that she sent contained this thing called a Noodle. No….it’s not edible. It is for cleaning. It looks somewhat like a large sponge with an elastic strap on one side to slip your hand thru. On the other side are hundreds of noodle-shaped ‘fingers’ fashioned from chenille.

   As if that weren’t enough….it is pink…my favorite color.

   The eternal neat-freak in me is totally fascinated.

   This thing is totally cool and endlessly useful. It stays strapped to my hand as I move from room to room dusting everything in sight. When it gets dirty, it is easy to wash…and always comes out as soft and wonderful as it was when it was new.

   To someone who thinks that clean and shiny are the most wonderful adjectives in the human language, this gift is the best thing anybody could have given her.

   It is hard to imagine how my friend knew that I would enjoy this Noodle so much. We’ve never even met one another in person. But something tells me that, in spite of the ocean between us….we aren’t that different after all.

arkmomy

  He has lied to you.

  Because I’m his mom, I will take the time to have that ‘lies are bad’ discussion with him.

  But to be honest, you have placed him in the position where he feels that he must lie to save your feelings. He could tell you the real reasons why he doesn’t want to visit this weekend, but you wouldn’t be satisified with that. You would push (because you always do) and layer on the guilt until he felt compelled to visit simply to avoid upsetting you.

   I won’t tell you that you don’t have the right to be upset, because you do. What you don’t have the right to do is to displace your feelings upon the shoulders of a kid….our kid.

  You created the problem. You HAD to be right…all the time. You made it clear to both of our kids that your way is the ONLY way. You made threats against them and me if they didn’t agree with you. You bullied them until they began to pull away from you simply to avoid confrontation. Now you get lies because, in their eyes, it is easier to lie to you than tell you the truth.

   The truth is, this weekend has nothing to do with you…or with me. It is not us with whom he is choosing to spend the weekend. We, as his parents, do not figure into this equation. He is choosing to stay because his friends are here. He found out yesterday that one of them (who had moved away) has returned to town to live. In teen-world, this is a big development.

   So, on the one hand, you can take comfort in the fact that he loves you enough to lie to you in order to spare your feelings.

   On the other hand…you might take a moment to ask yourself WHY he felt the need to do so.

   You have alienated one of our kids with your attitude…do you really intend to do so with the other? You are already learning just how hard it can be to mend fences with our daughter. While I hope that you succeed in that endeavor, I would also hope that you don’t find yourself in the position where you have to do the same with our son.

   He is a good kid….a really good kid. For both of your sakes, I hope that you come to appreciate him for the person that he is and just LISTEN to him…quit pushing….give him some respect…

…maybe then, he won’t feel the need to lie.

arkmomy

  Did you ever find a song that just hits you way down deep and you can’t get it out of your head??

I did…

 Tied Together With a Smile

Seems the only one who doesn’t see your beauty
is the face in the mirror looking back at you
you walk around here thinking you’re not pretty
but that’s not true, cause I know you…

(Chorus)

Hold on, baby, you’re losing it
the water’s high, you’re jumping into it
and letting go…and no one knows that
you cry, but you don’t tell anyone
that you might not be the golden one
and you’re tied together with a smile
but you’re coming undone

I guess it’s true that love was all you wanted
cause you’re giving it away like its extra change
hoping it will end up in his pocket
but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain
oh, cause it’s not his price to pay
not his price to pay…

(Repeat Chorus)

You’re tied together with a smile
but you’re coming undone…oh
goodbye, baby
goodbye, baby
with a smile, baby, baby

 Taylor Swift

arkmomy